The previous post to this one was a bit of a difficult one to get out. Now that my ass is showing, which I wanted to do, I have to show why I'm showing it (other than to point out how incredibly white it is)
I love being a Dominant. I'm starting to shed even the self label of Domme because I don't need the title anymore. It's become something I feel inherent to my name now. I find my spirit about it to be very primal as well as caste like. I want my submissive to serve me faithfully and wholly-because I earned their servitude for being a good alpha. I do not want someone who considers themselves a slave or a subject or a worshiper. We are equal in freedom, in social standing and in devotion to each other.
Being unpartnered for the majority of my time recognizing my dominance has been hard. I've had two good relationships, and the rest has been, "I'm not that desperate." to "Yeah, I am that desperate." (and this isn't for sexual gratification, this is on sacrificing aspects I know I want out of the relationship in order to have one.) I don't want go into a relationship knowing it will fail, but having a relationship would be really nice.
There are times that memories are comforting, but they are also painful because the brief or elusiveness of the moment in the memory. There are so precious few where it was just simply a good moment.
But, I will endure. This is who I am and I've waited out much harder times for better days. I can wait this time of want out too.
I am fucking happy about the friends I have made in becoming a part of a few different communities. There are a few I hold very special (which if you got a personal preview to this blog, that means I consider you special to me....I'm sorry I've been a twat in 2014.) and each of you who I've gotten to know, I value the person you are for numerous reasons. Thank you. :)
-Afina
-Afina
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